The Perfect
Parents Handbook
Finally, the essential guide for the modern bourgeois breeder
Publication Date: October 13, 2004
ISBN: 0-312-32991-1
A Griffin Trade Paperback Original
Taking a decidedly satirical look at the competitive sport
of modern parenting, Jennifer Conlin’s hilarious, tongue-in-cheek
“guide,” THE PERFECT PARENTS HANDBOOK,
presents a wickedly funny, Preppy Handbook-style parody of
today’s parental archetypes. Sure to become a must-have
companion for any parent who has ever yearned for a Bugaboo
or forked over five figures for preschool tuition, this dead-on
parody will have readers nodding in recognition—of themselves
and their fellow competitive parents. As Conlin notes, “child
rearing has reached a standard Mary Poppins couldn’t
attain even with a jet-propelled umbrella and vintage Hermes
Birkin bag of tricks.” Twenty years ago, the word “parenting” was not even a verb. Now people manage their families more
tightly than some corporations manage their field offices.
In an attempt to get hypercompetitive parents to lighten up,
Conlin gently skewers the all-too-real habits and accoutrements
of nine types of parents, including:
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Hip Parents: Introduced
to Asian food as toddlers, these kids attend "diverse"
urban public schools, and get to be extras in their
father's indie movie projects |
|
* |
Bohemian Parents: Eat only organic food bought at the
local farm store and will homeschool if no Rudolf Steiner
or Waldorf School exists in their area. Second-hand
bikes and a Toyota Prius hybrid are transportation of
choice |
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* |
Classic Parents: They
wear Lily Pulitzer and L.L. Bean, never allow the children
to call adults by their first names, and always pull
the kids (dressed in identical outfits) in a red wagon
through the Fourth of July parade |
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Sporty Parents: On
a first-name basis with the local sports-injury doctor
and help coach all their children’s sports teams
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Featuring mock quizzes, gift guides, and sample baby shower
and birthday invites, Conlin pokes fun at competitive parenting
obsessions with everything from maternity styles, to the perfect
Halloween costume, to their kids’ college tour.
THE PERFECT PARENTS HANDBOOK will vault any
aspiring “perfect parent” socially and academically
ahead of their peers. |
